March 2012
Here it is, 3 adults and two cats crammed into a studio. Sleeping on the floor, sharing resources, humor, cigarettes and stories of encouragement. It reads like the plot for a bad sitcom I know, but it is a true story. I swear. One of many I have lived. It is a situation filled with seeming hardships and inconveniences as one would imagine, but some surprising gains and blessings as well, -enough that the gains outweigh the inconvenience for those involved, despite appearances.
The economy has effected everyone but one upside of this seemingly cramped up reality is a makeshift family of support. They don't have much, but tend to share benevolently what they do have. Living so frugally and in such small quarters allows more shared amenities like internet and tasty meals. Only a Television would make the space seem small, but they do quite happily with out. Personal computers and long walks are enough for mental space, spiritual fulfillment and shared entertainment.
So, how do three highly intelligent and somewhat educated people find themselves in such a situation? First there is Douglas, a student and forty something man with acetic tendencies who prefers the uncomplicated life of simplicity to one of material trophies. Something of a hermit he prefers to meet life on his own term rejecting many of societies "norms". The rent and bills are paid from his rather meager resources of financial aide. He has lived here on his own for several years. Living a life of simplicity and frugality that not many others can even begin to understand in a society of megalomaniacs. Douglas is an ordained priest, and rejects much materialism. He opens his tiny home and floor space to two friends in need.
Joe is a thirty something man, something of a geek. He moved back to his home town after a long term relationship broke down and caused him to reevaluate his own values and place in the world. His sister could not have him underfoot since her roommates objected, so Douglas her best friend, took him in. Something of an upper middle class childhood has given Joe a bit of a sense of entitlement, but he is a compassionate and well meaning man. He has a good job but something of a benevolent alcoholic, he has no head for money, or saving for moving himself on from the lap of friendship and sense of family he has found. Making more money in two weeks, then the other two put together in a month, Joe is perpetually broke, but good natured with a gregarious and infectious laugh.
At last there is Tara. The newest addition to this scenario. A forty something student and empty-nester, longing for connection and the satisfaction of family and someone to look after from time to time. Tara moved home looking for new horizons and old connections, after two divorces and a failed attempt at defining herself by someone else's criteria. In a late night talk with herself she decided to surrender to a deep and abiding affection, and a sense of devotion to Douglas. She wants only to be near him while she lives her rock star kind of a life -regardless of the scope of that relationship- Tara works part time at a job that she is extremely overqualified for and severely underpaid at. She buys and cooks most of the food, and is content with her boys to look after. She is quirky, geeky and intelligent. She loves clothes and is a full time student via the internet.
All enjoy the realm of intellect and compassion, of friendship over material commodities, and of humor, shared experience and of facing the hurdles of life with like minded individuals. Perhaps it is the long standing admiration, respect and deep love the others feel for Douglas, and the geeky humor that connects them in Joe's quick wit and friendly banter. But more then anything it seems to be about reciprocal respect. Each roommate giving space, consideration and forthright communication to the other two.
Its a sense of open communication, honesty and voluntary reciprocity. As a group, all 3 huddle on the tiny excuse for a front porch to smoke cigarettes together, and engage in existential conversations over coffee. Despite the close quarters there is genuine enjoyment of one another's company. Privacy would appear to be lacking but is replaced with genuine regard and holistic respect, a sort of tribe mentality prevails. An entirely new experience for all of them, there is an air of gratitude and casual, happy preference of what, to many people, would be an inconceivable imposition or hardship. How does one explain to ones family this type of lifestyle preference?
Here it is, 3 adults and two cats crammed into a studio. Sleeping on the floor, sharing resources, humor, cigarettes and stories of encouragement. It reads like the plot for a bad sitcom I know, but it is a true story. I swear. One of many I have lived. It is a situation filled with seeming hardships and inconveniences as one would imagine, but some surprising gains and blessings as well, -enough that the gains outweigh the inconvenience for those involved, despite appearances.
The economy has effected everyone but one upside of this seemingly cramped up reality is a makeshift family of support. They don't have much, but tend to share benevolently what they do have. Living so frugally and in such small quarters allows more shared amenities like internet and tasty meals. Only a Television would make the space seem small, but they do quite happily with out. Personal computers and long walks are enough for mental space, spiritual fulfillment and shared entertainment.
So, how do three highly intelligent and somewhat educated people find themselves in such a situation? First there is Douglas, a student and forty something man with acetic tendencies who prefers the uncomplicated life of simplicity to one of material trophies. Something of a hermit he prefers to meet life on his own term rejecting many of societies "norms". The rent and bills are paid from his rather meager resources of financial aide. He has lived here on his own for several years. Living a life of simplicity and frugality that not many others can even begin to understand in a society of megalomaniacs. Douglas is an ordained priest, and rejects much materialism. He opens his tiny home and floor space to two friends in need.
Joe is a thirty something man, something of a geek. He moved back to his home town after a long term relationship broke down and caused him to reevaluate his own values and place in the world. His sister could not have him underfoot since her roommates objected, so Douglas her best friend, took him in. Something of an upper middle class childhood has given Joe a bit of a sense of entitlement, but he is a compassionate and well meaning man. He has a good job but something of a benevolent alcoholic, he has no head for money, or saving for moving himself on from the lap of friendship and sense of family he has found. Making more money in two weeks, then the other two put together in a month, Joe is perpetually broke, but good natured with a gregarious and infectious laugh.
At last there is Tara. The newest addition to this scenario. A forty something student and empty-nester, longing for connection and the satisfaction of family and someone to look after from time to time. Tara moved home looking for new horizons and old connections, after two divorces and a failed attempt at defining herself by someone else's criteria. In a late night talk with herself she decided to surrender to a deep and abiding affection, and a sense of devotion to Douglas. She wants only to be near him while she lives her rock star kind of a life -regardless of the scope of that relationship- Tara works part time at a job that she is extremely overqualified for and severely underpaid at. She buys and cooks most of the food, and is content with her boys to look after. She is quirky, geeky and intelligent. She loves clothes and is a full time student via the internet.
All enjoy the realm of intellect and compassion, of friendship over material commodities, and of humor, shared experience and of facing the hurdles of life with like minded individuals. Perhaps it is the long standing admiration, respect and deep love the others feel for Douglas, and the geeky humor that connects them in Joe's quick wit and friendly banter. But more then anything it seems to be about reciprocal respect. Each roommate giving space, consideration and forthright communication to the other two.
Its a sense of open communication, honesty and voluntary reciprocity. As a group, all 3 huddle on the tiny excuse for a front porch to smoke cigarettes together, and engage in existential conversations over coffee. Despite the close quarters there is genuine enjoyment of one another's company. Privacy would appear to be lacking but is replaced with genuine regard and holistic respect, a sort of tribe mentality prevails. An entirely new experience for all of them, there is an air of gratitude and casual, happy preference of what, to many people, would be an inconceivable imposition or hardship. How does one explain to ones family this type of lifestyle preference?
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