The exam

a (true) short story

Loading the car took less then a minute. She didn't even have to go back for the almost cold coffee in the ceramic travel mug. I quick day bag with notebook, wallet and the papers filled with directions was all she would need. It felt like a drive to freedom. It felt like a drive to the gallows. The early morning sunrise masked by the usual cloud cover as she merged onto I5.

The roads were dry, and she had left early enough to avoid rush hour, so 90 minutes early seemed like a great excuse for breakfast at the nearby Dennys. Her long hair wild at her shoulders she thought to beg a rubber band from the hostess before she left. When the appointed time approached, she walked into the room apparently calm, but tunnel vision narrowed her sight and made heavy pea soup of her mind.

Giving up her sunglasses and purse was less of a surprise then the last time, but still jarring, and then the female tester Jeanne, called her back. Everything was set out and the painfully slow baby steps did nothing to make the words on the wall register with any sense. When asked if she understood the procedure she could only nod agreement, not trusting her voice yet. She washed her hands and set the table, in a fog. "The test will now begin" the male tester said, after introductions were made. She thought his name was Darrell.

The questions came at the pace she herself set, but the long faces, heralded the silence. The lack of response to her performance was tangible. The sense of scrutiny during the demonstration was thick, and gooey. She was treading water in a vat of jelly... She needed to remember something. What was it? She kept noticing what she had forgotten instead, but stuck in the track she was already set to she blundered on, wondering what she should say or do different now.

Out front again, the receptionist said, "I try to mail the results within a week or two. You'll know then." Such a non climactic end to a potentially life changing event. She drove home with loud music and to many cigarettes. The tunnel vision slowly receded as the miles stretched behind her. It felt like a drive to freedom from the gloomy intimidation. It felt like a drive back to the gallows of redundancy. She suddenly remembered the long ago explanation about what to expect on this day, how to handle it successfully. It was a memory buried until an hour after she needed it.